When she first questioned myself if I’d be interested in playing with the lady and her heterosexual cis-male partner, I happened to ben’t wanting a three-way. I needed to explore gender with femme-presenting ladies.

I watched lovers whom looked-for thirds the way many more do, as shady and simply into unique benefits – because the dreadful unicorn hunters.

But her message had been type, and I realized, ‘why don’t you?’

I got no experience with threesomes with bi-curious partners. I’d just turn out annually prior as a bisexual and polyamorous girl after covering for many years, and jumping from a single monogamous direct link to the second.

Becoming bisexual introduced the usual tags to be ‘dirty’ for taking pleasure in women and men intimately.

Being polyamorous and doing informal intercourse required I happened to be also promiscuous, maybe not psychologically loyal adequate, and branded a cheater before we actually came across for a coffee.

Becoming plus-size with a body image/eating condition just enhanced the feelings of inadequacy and pity for whom I am.

So when she messaged me, advising me she thought I became stunning, and inquiring us to satisfy the lady and her partner for a glass or two to check out exactly how we believed, we got the chance.

Two lips instead of one, four arms versus two worshipped my body system, and I them. And also for the first time in a very lifetime, I thought desired, appealing, and wanted. And especially, we felt like I could eventually be me personally.

U

nicorn hunting
is quite
an expression that defines
couples, normally cisgender, bi-curious ones, searching for a third to become listed on all of them for sexual play. This
third
, appropriately named the
‘unicorn’
your imagined rareness of the life, is actually if at all possible a cisgender, slim, femme-presenting bisexual or bi-curious lady, a person who is actually solitary, delighted with no Strings connected (NSA) preparations, and you will be sexually exclusive making use of pair.

I am not a genuine unicorn as I’m not solitary, intimately special, nor thin.

My major partner calls me personally a rainicorn alternatively. I find the definition of charming as rainicorns (encouraged by

Adventure Time

) can be found in all sorts of tints, shapes, and characters. I thrive on getting a 3rd for lovers, bringing their unique sexual fantasies to life without extra strings of an emotional connection. I just take fantastic enjoyment in becoming the item they both desire.

Intimacy, for me personally, are but a great minute, a brief nights love without more expectations.

Anti-unicorn hunting is rolling out from a requirement to emphasize the harms that numerous bisexual cisgender and femme-presenting females experience if they are hunted by couples for prospective three-ways. It often promotes throuple and triad situations in the place of one-off sexual activities to be sure the rights of most included.

And I get it. Bisexual ladies are typically coated as promiscuous, intimate objects, sexually fresh, hyper-sexual, and believed become up for and all sex, including three-ways. Numerous currently maltreated from this exercise of searching, and that is not marked down.

To be honest however, Im nearly all of those things. Being a unicorn happens to be the one and only invest which these aspects of my personal identification being regularly colored as misconceptions about bisexual individuals are valued.

Since the feminist philosopher Ann Cahill recommends, never to be sexually objectified, eg in the case of fat ladies, is visible as actually denied a sex and authorization to enjoy satisfaction, one thing to that we have actually believed firmly in most of my entire life.

Adopting this identity provides allowed me to look for sexual fulfilment in another group of methods, and also to engage my personal hyper-sexuality, in the place of refute it.

I’m tired of individuals talking for me personally, assuming that Im always in danger of exploitation regarding the sheer idea of my bisexuality and femme-presenting sex. That getting hunted indicates i’m always prey. That i have to always want a deep, intimate, and continuous commitment with a couple instead of some thing relaxed.

W

hile we’re coated as ‘rare’, In my opinion there might be even more ladies anything like me in concealing. Most likely, the reason why would we or any person like to appear ahead openly as a unicorn, when message boards and the like paint unicorn hunters as ‘disgusting’ and only trying to ‘spice upwards their boring gender physical lives’?

Where does that keep people exactly who enjoy getting part of those dynamics as hunted?

When shaming these lovers occurs, our company is also shaming the unicorns which take part in these techniques. We are producing the story wherein bi-curious NSA three-ways tend to be viewed as constantly naturally challenging encounters, as well as reinforcing the idea that ladies merely ever before want passionate connection, that we cannot come to be thinking about only gender.

We have to open up room and be mindful regarding the assortment of sexual experiences. We could possibly do a variety of sexual practices and engagements, and for many of us bi-women, becoming promiscuous, open to NSA three-ways, and hyper-sexual, isn’t a bad thing.

Neither is it a naturally unfavorable representation of bisexuality a lot more broadly. All things considered, it isn’t the representation that is the problem, simple fact is that way in which it really is weaponised.

Sadly, the anti-unicorn ‘community’ has been doing a really great task of pathologising myself, and ladies just like me, because we dare decide to embrace components of ourselves which happen to be viewed as a ‘problem’ by other people. Because we dare getting ‘bad’ bisexuals.

I’m a bisexual ‘rainicorn’.

And I don’t like getting hunted.

I fucking love it.

Rainicorn operates in analysis, focusing on figures, sexuality and gender, intimate practices, and health and wellness. She recognizes as a bisexual, cisgender, polyamorous plus-size Anglo-Celtic woman, and it is gender good, kink/fetish positive, and fat good. In her own spare-time, she loves decorating and producing music, while the delectable delights associated with the carnal underworld.

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